My first year of college it’s almost over. And It makes me sad but at happy at the same time because I have experienced one of the best years of my entire life and I would never forget it …
I have partied, get drunk, smoked ,loved, kissed…
BUT this is just not my real life, and so as it’s not, the reality slowly comes out and right now I just don’t see myself here anymore…
Lost like in the beggining, begging for a change, craving more happiness, back to black.
Eight months, eight fucking months I had wait to kiss the guy I like. We were in a party, I was drunk …
How could I describe it? the best fucking moment in my life? a fairy tale?
Yeah, we made a nice couple that night, and then nothing , nothing at all.
He said weird things to me , like he were jealous or something … a pure illusion.
I’m broken. And my disorder is back :)
I live sorrounded by wonderful people but they just don’t stand one thing that I really appreciate, loneliness.
They can’t stand the fact of being alone or just spending an entire day by themselves. It’s sad because are not made to be human beings. We born and die alone, they just don’t accept the motto of life.
It was so much easier to loose weight starving myself.
Now that I’m doing both (exercise and starvation) I don’t really know when I’m gonna stop.
I feel excited and I think I’m doing it in the healthy way, but honestly i don’t know what to think…
puta asquerosa
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